请大家帮我改改英文介绍

来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/09/12 22:16:09
大家帮我看看呀 这个是我的英文介绍

也许不是很好

帮我看下，可以修改的地方请告诉我

It’s my pleasure to introduce myself to you here.
My name is Di wen yi.My English name is Yami.
I hope to come to apply for the reception of your company.
I'm very happy that I am qualified for this interview.
I am 23 ­years old, born in Shanghai.．I am a faithful girl .
I have had two years' working experience
I have learned a lot about business and mastered basic office skills.
In addition, I learned how to cooperate with my colleagues from my previous job.
With strong determination, I believe I can succeed in the future.
I have lots of interest, such as drawing .reading and so on.
I hope to be your student.
I hope I can enter your department.
Thank you for your time.
Wish to see you again

Hello!
My name is Di wen yi.My English name is Yami. I am 23 ­years old. I am here to apply for the reception of your company.
I have two years' working experience, and i learned a lot about business affairs and mastered basic office skills.
In addition, I learned how to cooperate with my colleagues from my previous job.

I have lots of interest, such as drawing .reading and so on.
With strong determination, I believe I can succeed in the future.
I hope I could be one of you.
thank you.
应该是应聘工作的自我介绍,所以我认为尽量口语化一点.长词和生僻词少用一些，既可以避免读音发错,又避免死记硬背临场紧张忘词.
另外就是干脆一些,其实对方都已经拿到你的简历,有些东西不必要说得那么详细.我觉得工作经验方面应该再加一些,就是曾经在哪个地方做过什么工作,如果有取得的成绩最好说一下。给人的感觉就是干净利落，这个工作可以做得了。
结尾不用那么烦琐，该说的说完了，一个THANK YOU就可以了。许多I HOPE会给人感觉你这个人比较罗嗦，而且也不自信。
一家之见,当然还可以改得更好。
希望你成功。