这句话有没有语法上的错误？

1. 第一句应为after watching this movie，i 去掉，
2. i learnt,改成i have learnt，因为这个"learnt"是属于思维层面上的收获，并非只是一时的发现，所以应该用现在完成时来表示一个动作至今的影响
3. ...you keep yourself alive not for yourself，not for应该为not just for。从整个语篇来看，意思应该是：不仅为自己，也为他人。
4. all the people surrounding you，surrounding 最好改为around，用介词表状态更地道。
5. 文中 have to最好改为should，尽管在字面意义上两者是统一的。但have to 大多有不情愿，却“不得不”；而should是指从道义上来说，“应该”
6. 最后一句，too和strongly在语义上重复。可以去掉一个。

after watching...
或者，after i watched...

After I had watched this movie, I learnt that we should keep ourselves alive, not for ourselves but for all the people surround us. This is called responsibility. Everybody is born with responsibilties. Therefore, we have to consider others' feelings before making a decision. Don't be too independent.

After i watched this movie, I learned that you keep yourself alive not for yourself but for all the people surrounding (可以换成about). This is responsibility. Everybody is born with a