UC知道英语作文改错，急急急~！+悬赏
来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/07/02 01:12:36
希望英语好滴高手可以帮我改一下错误，像什么时态上的，语态，从句等用法的错误。谢谢！ 加悬赏！
下面有文章翻译：
I`m going to do what I want to do,when I grow up.I`m going to visit some great place.Like HangZhou,HuNan, and ShangHai.Then,
if I have enough money I want go to Paris,Canada and Korea.I want
to be a writer and work in BeiJing.So,how am I going to do it?First,I am going to be a student in a good university where is in
BeiJing.So I must study hard.Then I am going to find a good job and save money.And I`m going to work hard in the future.Next,I`m going to write more and more articles and write some books until I`m going to be a famous write.One day,I`m going to be old.I can listen to some musics and write some poems for myself.
（当我长大的时候我会去做我想做的事，我想去参观一些漂亮的地方，像杭州，湖南和上海。然后，如果我有足够的钱，我想去巴黎，加拿大和韩国。我想成为一名作家并且在北京工作。因此，我应该怎么做呢？首先，我想成为北京一所好大学的学生，因此，我必须要努力学习，然后我要寻找一个好工作并且存一些钱。在未来我要努力工作。下一步，我会写更多的文章和写一些书，直到我将成为一个著名的作家。有一天，我将会变老，我能听一些音乐并为自己写一些诗。）
下面有文章翻译：
I`m going to do what I want to do,when I grow up.I`m going to visit some great place.Like HangZhou,HuNan, and ShangHai.Then,
if I have enough money I want go to Paris,Canada and Korea.I want
to be a writer and work in BeiJing.So,how am I going to do it?First,I am going to be a student in a good university where is in
BeiJing.So I must study hard.Then I am going to find a good job and save money.And I`m going to work hard in the future.Next,I`m going to write more and more articles and write some books until I`m going to be a famous write.One day,I`m going to be old.I can listen to some musics and write some poems for myself.
（当我长大的时候我会去做我想做的事，我想去参观一些漂亮的地方，像杭州，湖南和上海。然后，如果我有足够的钱，我想去巴黎，加拿大和韩国。我想成为一名作家并且在北京工作。因此，我应该怎么做呢？首先，我想成为北京一所好大学的学生，因此，我必须要努力学习，然后我要寻找一个好工作并且存一些钱。在未来我要努力工作。下一步，我会写更多的文章和写一些书，直到我将成为一个著名的作家。有一天，我将会变老，我能听一些音乐并为自己写一些诗。）
第一句 I`m going to do <what>(when) I want to do,
第二段第一句if(If) I have enough money I want(to) go to Paris,
倒数第二行I`m going to be a famous <write>(writer)
最后一句I can listen to some <musics>(music)
应该还有，找不到了