帮忙看下我的语法错误

来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/06/28 11:19:10
Tourism is helpful to people
In addition , tourism is also good for health . Some people work in the office all day long, facing the computer screen and dealing with their work . They always feel so tired , and the companies usually offer an excursion to make the people feel relax and enjoy the fresh air which can improve their abilities in working. For instances, the Rural Area Tourism Healthcheck (RATH) continues Tourism South Easts rural regeneration initiative which commenced with the creation of a community group based tourism guidance tool for Markets Towns , RATH will direct local communities to understand heir tourism potential , develop a vision for the future , draw up their own action plan , implement their own projects and participate in their own benefits (www.seco.org.uk) .
Tourism attracts visitors in history and preservation . Some places are protected by government , visitors c

看在我好心的份儿上，全文帮你改了吧！有些地方不是语法不对，是别扭，就改改吧……还有，你的立场不坚定。英语议论文不能有两个立场，只有说明文才可以，而你明显是写议论文。建议你要不把后面去掉，要不重写。你的文章只能用一个phrase来形容，就是twisted "Chinglish"...
Tourism is rather helpful to people work in offices. They face computer screens and deal with their work all day along and are always very tired. In this case, companies usually offer an excursion to make them feel relaxed and enjoy the fresh air to improve their abilities in working. For instance, the Rural Area Tourism Healthcheck (RATH) has been working on Tourism South Easts rural regeneration initiative, which commenced with the creation of a group based tourism guidance for Markets Towns(这句话异常怪诞，我删了几个词）. RATH helps local communities to understand their touristic potential , develop a vision for the future , draw up their own action plans, implement their own projects and participate in their own benefits (www.seco.org.uk) .
Tourism attracts