UC知道商务英语信函写作~帮忙指出这篇信函的缺点 必加分！
来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/06/27 16:21:08
Could you point out the weaknesses in the following letter and rewrite this letter.
Dear Sirs,
This is a newly established firm seeking cooperation with firms or manufacturers of Auto Body Repair Tools and Equipments.
Therefore, you are requested to send us your catalogs and prices. In the meantime, we remain,
Very truly yours,
Ted Saade
Saade Corporation
Dear Sirs,
This is a newly established firm seeking cooperation with firms or manufacturers of Auto Body Repair Tools and Equipments.
Therefore, you are requested to send us your catalogs and prices. In the meantime, we remain,
Very truly yours,
Ted Saade
Saade Corporation
1.美式一般以"Dear sir"启首，而非“dear sirs”，以为通常都是一位收信人阅读电邮。诱人直至认为使用单数Dear sir，会更亲切，更有感染力。
2.在商务函电的写作中撰写传递好消息或者一般资讯的信函时，大多数使用主动语态，而非被动语态。 you are requested to send us your catalogs and prices，这样使用被动语态会给对方冷漠傲慢的感觉。可以写成：Could you send me your catalogs and prices?
3.第一句和第二句没有直接的关系，不需要用"therefore".
4.避免使用过多名词短语。在遇上坏消息时可以使用名词短语。可以把In the meantime, we remain改成：We look forward to hearing from you
there is no date and inside address in it.
里面没有写信日期和信内地址。