oral english（my first job ）我的英语口语考试，那位帮我们看看有什么错误没

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我的英语口语考试，那位帮我们看看有什么错误没，特别是语法。
My first Job

Hello, boys and girls. I will give you a short story about my first job experience.

On my sophomore summer vacation, I did not go home and stayed in my campus, because I wanted to look for a job. But there were so many students like me in campus. Lots of them wanted to get a job. They did not to strive for, but nothing to do, just wait. So it is very hard to find a job, even a low pay. I was very disappointed. I even wondered if my first choice is not the right. After a few days, I was listening to the radio, the speaker suddenly shouted like this:” please give me your message as soon as possible, we will give you a job opportunity!” In this moment, I did not think any more; send a message to the hotline. About five minutes later, my phone rang. I was very surprise. I was very exciting. How I wish this will bring me a job. Finally, I was lucky. In this way, I got my first job.

So, nothing is impossible. If

I did not go home and stayed in my campus, stayed---stay

They did not to strive for, but nothing to do, just wait---they did nothing but just wait.你这个句子错了，改成这样简单明了

is not the right---去掉the

I was very surprise--surprised

I was very exciting-excited

How I wish this will --would

First of all, we must to do is to try do our best-----what we must do is try our best.

when start to do ---then start doing sth

差不多就这些，还有点，既然是口语，那do not 这些在说的时候就要说成don't

要符合说话习惯

Lots of them wanted to get a job. 改成lots of them have the same desire with me