求几个英文笑话 要带翻译的 涉及婚姻或家庭或夫妻的

FUTURE 未来
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
女人直到找到丈夫前都在担心未来；男人直到找到妻子前从不担心未来。 EATING OUT 在外面吃饭
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though its only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
买单的时候，阿麦，阿克、阿力和阿汤每人都甩出20块钱，虽然其实一共只吃了32块5。没人有更小的票子了，也没人愿意承认他们其实想把票子破开。女人买单时，每人掏出个计算器。MONEY 钱
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesnt need, but its on sale. 用得着的东西，要是值1块钱却卖2块，男人也会买；用不着的东西，要是值2块钱却只卖1块，女人也会买。
BATHROOMS 浴室
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. The average number of items in the typical womans bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.