UC知道请问这样的雅思作文能拿到5.5么
来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/07/03 08:30:11
题目是computers do not help children to learn more effectively.on th contrary. Their usage has a negative effect on both the physical and mental development of young people .to what extent do you agree or disagree?
To day ,using computer is becoming more and more popular and it makes an significant impact on people’s life specialy for children’s,but it also bring a drastic argument.Some people believe that using computer is more cons than pros no matter mantal or physical.According to a research,it is said that the children’s short sight pecentage incease sharply than 5 years ago,and tend to more yonger , and the main cause is that children using computer is not old enough. In the news,we always catch that some children closed heart because of hook on internet games,what’s worse ,some of them gets illness on mind. This proof strengthen people conviction to resist computer.
As for me , I hold that we should not so passive to computer. Computer makes our life becoming
To day ,using computer is becoming more and more popular and it makes an significant impact on people’s life specialy for children’s,but it also bring a drastic argument.Some people believe that using computer is more cons than pros no matter mantal or physical.According to a research,it is said that the children’s short sight pecentage incease sharply than 5 years ago,and tend to more yonger , and the main cause is that children using computer is not old enough. In the news,we always catch that some children closed heart because of hook on internet games,what’s worse ,some of them gets illness on mind. This proof strengthen people conviction to resist computer.
As for me , I hold that we should not so passive to computer. Computer makes our life becoming
应该可以。
最好能把结尾再改一下
语法错误：第一段： Some people believe that using computer is more likely a con than a pro no matter mantally or physically.
According to a research,it is said that the children’s short sight pecentage inceased sharply than that in 5 years ago.What's more,students with such problems tend to much younger.
“and the main cause is that children using computer is not old enough”这句不合乎逻辑喔，应该改成the main reason may be they abuse the computer and get addicted to computer games.