UC知道雅思 大作文谁可以帮我详细的修改下
来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/09/24 22:30:37
Some people think government should ensure the healthy lifestyle of people, but others argue that it should be decided by individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion
With the development of society, more and more people now concern about the healthy lifestyle. What is under controversy is whether the government should take the responsibility to make sure the healthy lifestyle of people. Some argue that individual should ensure it by themselves. As for me, I'm in high favor of the government should ensure it.
As anyone who knows anything about the responsibility of government should agree the point that government have to provide sufficient facilities to ensure it's people have an accessible healthy lifestyle. For instance, some parks, gyms are established by government for the public for free, so they can do exercises or enjoy leisure times at parks to keep healthy.
In addition, government can also take some actions to limit the unhea
With the development of society, more and more people now concern about the healthy lifestyle. What is under controversy is whether the government should take the responsibility to make sure the healthy lifestyle of people. Some argue that individual should ensure it by themselves. As for me, I'm in high favor of the government should ensure it.
As anyone who knows anything about the responsibility of government should agree the point that government have to provide sufficient facilities to ensure it's people have an accessible healthy lifestyle. For instance, some parks, gyms are established by government for the public for free, so they can do exercises or enjoy leisure times at parks to keep healthy.
In addition, government can also take some actions to limit the unhea
不是我打击你，这篇文章写得很乱，首先结构不合理，其次语法错误很多，然后大量使用口语用词，最后车轱辘话太多，这篇文章最多只能得5分，我建议你买一本慎小嶷的《十天突破雅思写作》，看完对你肯定有帮助，文章我就不一一修改了，因为本人打字速度实在一般。希望你能取得好成绩！
详细的修改，这个分给太低了，建议增加分数。不然可能只会有人略微批改一些。