请帮忙改下这篇雅思作文 相信好人有好报~~~非常感谢!!时态和语法错误有哪些 并给个雅思分 谢谢了
来源:百度知道 编辑:UC知道 时间:2024/09/13 00:14:17
1罪犯应该应该长期监禁还是应该再教育,并在他们重新进入社会时,做一些社区服务使他们改过自新
Meatures tanken for criminal offenders are crucial ones ,especially for the health and peacec in the seciety . which ways adopt to , to be re-educated or with lengthy jail terms, has a slightly divarication to some extent. Although i understand the main points of some decision-maker about keeping crimals in prison in long term ,however, i do not believe it is the best or only way for those who commit crimes, and re-education and rehabilitation through labor seems more proper without considering some special case .
Through re-education ,offenders are given a chance to reflection on what had they done wongly and that can mend their ways . Re-education ,especially some skills course, is conducive to adapt the society and earn their living for some ones with poor educational level .
In addition, similar to community service programmers ,rehabilitated using is a good means of making full use of social reso
Meatures tanken for criminal offenders are crucial ones ,especially for the health and peacec in the seciety . which ways adopt to , to be re-educated or with lengthy jail terms, has a slightly divarication to some extent. Although i understand the main points of some decision-maker about keeping crimals in prison in long term ,however, i do not believe it is the best or only way for those who commit crimes, and re-education and rehabilitation through labor seems more proper without considering some special case .
Through re-education ,offenders are given a chance to reflection on what had they done wongly and that can mend their ways . Re-education ,especially some skills course, is conducive to adapt the society and earn their living for some ones with poor educational level .
In addition, similar to community service programmers ,rehabilitated using is a good means of making full use of social reso
第一段:1.第一个字是什么?哦,测量啊,才看到补充.那就不能用这个词,要用treatment. 2.peacec 是什么? 3.in long term 不是这样用的,要写for a long period. 4.最后一句话逗号前的and,令句子又臭又长,需要再开一句. 5.through labor是错误的用法, 用by letting them working in the prision.
时间有限..只改第一段,你有很多中国式英语,用词也不太准确,这样的文章,能得多少分我也说不好.
抱歉学识浅薄,没认出来那是个词组,我没见过而已,其他应该没问题
咳,错了
太多错字, 不看也罢
看的出来你背了些写作词汇,可是语法,句子结构实在不怎么样,比如最后一句the society will get more and more stable and the criminal rates will be less and less low.非常搞笑,估计考官都会被逗乐,中国式英语太多了,感觉有点像翻译器直接翻译过来的... ...建议抓语法,4分