UC知道帮我改一下这篇雅思作文，谢谢了~！高分悬赏好心人
来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/07/04 19:13:14
第一是帮我看看结构，语法，词汇运用有什么大的问题，之前有个人说我文章逗号运用过多，导致考官会无法明白我说什么？
第二是给我建议，让我知道怎么提高
第三是帮我评一下分~谢谢
谢谢大家了~！
Nowadays, it has a research, which tells an opinion that the inborn characteristics effecting individual on his personality and development overweigh than the experiences he will have alongside growth. Personally, I am not in favor of this respect.
As a matter of fact, the characteristics that child with when he was born, will make an impact on his childhood even adult life. This influence to his personality and development is initial and primitive; especially to personality, if last generations of a child, who is musicians, it gets a higher chance that the child will have interesting in music than other children, whose parents are doctors or policemen. In other words, in characteristics support the early life of individual.
However, if we consider it from a different perspective, experience is another effective way to shape one’s personality and
第二是给我建议，让我知道怎么提高
第三是帮我评一下分~谢谢
谢谢大家了~！
Nowadays, it has a research, which tells an opinion that the inborn characteristics effecting individual on his personality and development overweigh than the experiences he will have alongside growth. Personally, I am not in favor of this respect.
As a matter of fact, the characteristics that child with when he was born, will make an impact on his childhood even adult life. This influence to his personality and development is initial and primitive; especially to personality, if last generations of a child, who is musicians, it gets a higher chance that the child will have interesting in music than other children, whose parents are doctors or policemen. In other words, in characteristics support the early life of individual.
However, if we consider it from a different perspective, experience is another effective way to shape one’s personality and
第一句开始看，就没有兴趣了。。。汗啊。。。。
基本5.5-6分，最高不会超过6.5的。
套句太多 有什么可改的
7分差不多
去找老师吧
句式太单一，而且您能把题目放上来吗？