UC知道哪位高人帮忙修改下雅思作文..先谢了..最好能给个分数
来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/07/06 15:52:37
Children can learn efficiently by watching television.Should children watching television regular both in school and at home?Discuss agree or disagree.
When it comes to television,as one of the most significant invention,the majority of individuals believe that television
plays an extremely critical role in our daily life.It can provide us a number of TV programs in diverse area everyday,such as
art,sport,music,education,science and so on.therefore,some individuals think that children would learn efficiently by the
support of a great deal of imformation through TV program.From my own perspective,i believe that the advantage outweigh the
disadvantage in this case.
No one can deny the fact that watching television contributes to children's study to a large extent in numerous
aspect.First,taking example for juvenile educational lecture broadcasting regularly on the weekend.The
children,undoubtedly,can not only acquire a great a
When it comes to television,as one of the most significant invention,the majority of individuals believe that television
plays an extremely critical role in our daily life.It can provide us a number of TV programs in diverse area everyday,such as
art,sport,music,education,science and so on.therefore,some individuals think that children would learn efficiently by the
support of a great deal of imformation through TV program.From my own perspective,i believe that the advantage outweigh the
disadvantage in this case.
No one can deny the fact that watching television contributes to children's study to a large extent in numerous
aspect.First,taking example for juvenile educational lecture broadcasting regularly on the weekend.The
children,undoubtedly,can not only acquire a great a
楼主，在这里好心的提醒一下，现在真正评雅思作文卷比较好的方法只有找那些非常有经验的培训老师，他们会知道评卷标准之类。网上这样评的话容易给你误差的分数，以致影响你的以后的复习计划，所以最好不要在网上评呀- -
恩，说说我自己的感受，觉得整个挺流畅的，应该是套用了模板了吧，呵呵~我不敢给分数，但是感觉还不错，分数应该还行。
怎么说呢，虽然套用了模板，但是总体文章还算流畅，考官在阅卷的时候虽然对模板的文章不太赞同，但是如果写的还行，会有6.5，不过一般不会突破7分，建议楼主即使做模板不要用网上的那些，推荐你一本书《10天突破雅思写作》上面有教你做自己的模板的方法，很好用~
我不是雅思老师，我只是考过雅思的人，但我还是一下就看出来你几乎每段开头和结尾都套用了模板。自己的思想看法自己的精彩语言寥寥无几。
坦率的说，像我都能看出来的话，那么专业的雅思考官，评阅过成千上万份作文了，怎么可能看不出来你用的是模板呢？怎么能对模板不感到厌烦与无聊呢？凡是用模板的给考官留下的印象都会非常差，一般不会超过6分的。
良药苦口。所以我觉得你还是赶紧抛弃那些开头结尾，说点自己想说的话，哪怕表达不如模板那么流畅，但毕竟那是你自己的东西。
祝你好运。