UC知道哪位高手能帮我改一下这篇essay？
来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/09/24 08:35:59
Natural History Museum
Have you ever been to Natural History Museum in University of Kansas? There are many amazing creature in the museum. I had a funny trip during last Wednesday. First of all, I went to the fourth floor and I have seen Panorama. It is including deer, elk, mountain goats, bison, a grizzly bear, twp fighting Bull Moose, and a host of smaller a smaller animals. In this exhibit I found two different types of skunk. One has spots the other one has stripes. It was an amusing thing in the Panorama, when I looked carefully for prairie dogs I can see 3 dogs and it suddenly went out from the hole. The largest animal shown in the woodland area is black bear but black bear can’t live in the Kansas state. Because of there are too many people live in Kansas, black bear lose their habitation and many people hunting to them. Secondly, I have been to the third floor that was shown fossils. There is a giant sloth, a saber-toothed cat, and a dire-wolf on display in the tar pits
Have you ever been to Natural History Museum in University of Kansas? There are many amazing creature in the museum. I had a funny trip during last Wednesday. First of all, I went to the fourth floor and I have seen Panorama. It is including deer, elk, mountain goats, bison, a grizzly bear, twp fighting Bull Moose, and a host of smaller a smaller animals. In this exhibit I found two different types of skunk. One has spots the other one has stripes. It was an amusing thing in the Panorama, when I looked carefully for prairie dogs I can see 3 dogs and it suddenly went out from the hole. The largest animal shown in the woodland area is black bear but black bear can’t live in the Kansas state. Because of there are too many people live in Kansas, black bear lose their habitation and many people hunting to them. Secondly, I have been to the third floor that was shown fossils. There is a giant sloth, a saber-toothed cat, and a dire-wolf on display in the tar pits
提示你一下吧，你自己改印象深刻，首先文章时态要统一，不要一下是过去，一下又是现在，比如it is应该是it was。再说including何必这么用，太麻烦了，直接在panorama接including......。还有one，the other就是相对应的，the other后面再加个one显得太罗嗦了。when i lookes那句，can去掉see变saw，还有go out of不比go out from要顺口啊？because of的of去掉，live改成living。black bear lost their habitation for many people hunting for them。还有你用得副词，你是按照时间或者说是地点的顺序写的，用first of all ，secondly感觉很不顺口。“I found the largest bones of these exhibits 。it called Prodoscidians”。There is a skeleton of a giant fish on display which name is Xiphactinus.大概就是这些了，你应该好好学习一下语法了！！你单词量比我丰富好多，我好多单词都没见过，可是你语法一塌糊涂。