可以帮我翻译这段3分钟的英语视频吗?

MTV台利用魔戒首部曲组成魔戒远征队时的片段剪接而成的超搞笑版！真的笑死人了！
建议大家一定要直接看才够爆笑！很多精彩之处不在台词里。
==== 以下翻译请先看过原片再参考 ====

Elrond: strangers from distant lands, friends of old,
Elrond：来自四面八方的陌生朋友们、各位老友们

Elrond: you have been summoned here to answer the threat
of mordor.
Elrond：这次是为了回应魔多的威胁而召唤诸位来到这里

Elrond: middle-earth stands upon the brink of destruction.
Elrond：中土世界如今已经面临毁灭的边缘了

Elrond: Bring forth the Ring.
Elrond：把魔戒呈上前来吧

（某女星假扮的Arwen以及某男星扮演哈比人突然出现在电影片段中 ）

Arwen: Jack, did you , have the ring, don't you?
Arwen：Jack，魔戒不是你拿著吗？

Jack : yes. yes, I have the ring
Jack：呃....是的....魔戒是在我这里是没错.....

Jack: the thing is, last night, me and some buddies had a
little too much mead,
Jack：不过呢，由於昨天晚上我跟几个死党喝得稍微多了一点....

Jack: and we ended up at the piercing parlor,
Jack：后来不知怎麼搞的我们跑到穿耳洞的店里去....

Jack: and we ended up， and....
Jack：然后.