高手高手帮忙看一下这段话有什么错误~

来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/06/27 10:55:27
Dear Eva:

I'm Stella--the new receptionist of the Admin Department.Because I haven't the company's Email,so I use my own Email to contact you. I want to ask if I should call you immediately when the candidates coming? I'm not sure about the order.If not,what should I do?
Sorry to disturb you.Pls help me to point out my mistakes in the future work,Thank you very much.

Best Regards,
Stella Zhong

具体修改如下：

Dear Eva:

I'm Stella--the new receptionist of the Admin Department.Because I don't have the company's Email,so I use my own Email to contact you. I want to ask if I should call you immediately when the candidates are coming? I'm not sure about the order.If not,please give me any suggestions.

Sorry to disturb you.Pls help me to further improve my future work,Thank you very much.

Best Regards,
Stella Zhong

商业信函不要突出自己的弱点，否则会被对方利用。

1.because和so需删掉一个.
2.coming改为come.

这里是改完的，可以对照参考一下..:)

Dear Eva:

I'm Stella, the new receptionist of the Admin Department. I haven't got the company's Email, so I use my own Email account to contact you. I want to ask if I should call you immediately when the candidates come? I'm not sure what I'm gonna do, and I need you to tell me.
Sorry to bother you.Plus help me to point out my mistakes in future work. Tha