帮忙看看有什莫错误，谢谢！

来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/07/07 17:46:22
There are two chart about our city of education .the first one is about makeing up of students in hight school of my city.In the chart there are 91 percent of native students and 8 percent of students is non-local workers ladies and gentlemen other is abroading students.the other chaet is about where the hight school student will go when they leave school.In this chart 60 percent of students choice to university and 30 percent of students choice to vocational school other student will go to abroad to study.
From my point of view a magority of students want to study in university lead to educative resource jam.so i suggest govemment encourage students go to vocational to study.not only study in college would be succeed
帮忙改一下

chart-charts the-The makeing-making "make up of"用在这里有点勉强啊，可改成"the construction of" 即改成The first one is about the construction of students which are in high school in our city.后面的那句话成分很乱呢，The chart shows that 91%of native students and 8&of other students is 后面的部分表意混乱 无法修改呢 "workers"和"ladies and gentlemen"都是名词 不能直接放在一起 而且"ladies and gentlemen"很少用在学生身上，用简单的"boys and girls"即可。可改成:workers' boys and girls（不过就算改了，文法上是没错，但在口语上非常别扭，你想表达什么意思呢）还有两个句子不能简单并列，中间要有连词“while others(不加s也可以，但要在后面加students) are abroading."（真得不明白你要说什么呢，泪飘）请注意使用负数形式"students"一般单个学生时才使用”student" 只有两副图时指另一副时可使用“another"当然”the other"也没错啦 "In this chart"后请用逗号隔开“choice"是名词，这里要用动词”choose"得过去式“chose","the university"前请加"go to"(用法类似于go to school)后面的部分也要依葫芦画瓢地修改。即：In this chart,60%of students chose to go to the university and 30%of students would rather go to the vocational shool. And the res