UC知道请帮我看看这篇ielts文章.....谢谢....可以加分啊
来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/07/04 14:42:21
我写得是不是有些偏激了?这是剑6的test2。。。。。。。帮我改个分啊
It is obviously that people like entertainment, which means that a football or basketball march will attract more people than chemistry experiment. But in my opinion, it is very unfair for the academic professors.
As a scientist, he or she has to spend a lot of time in their lab doing experiments. So are the writers, the psychologists and so on. For instance, one o my relatives is a chemist. Whenever I go to his home, I often find him working in his small laboratory very carefully. However, though he has made contributions to some inventions, his life standards not high. So, it is the first reason why I insist that people in other important professions should get more rewarding.
On top of their hardworking, the achievements that these academic professors have made are very meaningful than champions that are won by sports winners. An invention would benefit people all over the world for a very long time, such as Edison’s inv
It is obviously that people like entertainment, which means that a football or basketball march will attract more people than chemistry experiment. But in my opinion, it is very unfair for the academic professors.
As a scientist, he or she has to spend a lot of time in their lab doing experiments. So are the writers, the psychologists and so on. For instance, one o my relatives is a chemist. Whenever I go to his home, I often find him working in his small laboratory very carefully. However, though he has made contributions to some inventions, his life standards not high. So, it is the first reason why I insist that people in other important professions should get more rewarding.
On top of their hardworking, the achievements that these academic professors have made are very meaningful than champions that are won by sports winners. An invention would benefit people all over the world for a very long time, such as Edison’s inv
本人认为
雅思考试观点本身支持那一边是没有规定的所以不必担心偏激
但是论点一定要丰富
像你这样的单边作文支持的论点最好超过3个
你只是系统的阐述了两个
而且还有的问题是用词还需要锤炼，没有出彩的用词是不会得高分的
但是任务还是完成了的，质量还过得去
应该会有6分
观点还可以，你应该有正反两方面论点和论据 总结的时候再提出你的观点。不要只就一方面侃侃而谈，雅思作文也要求crtical thinking
分数5.0-5.5
我一遍读下来，感觉您写的 像是 模版作文一样，真的，我的第一感觉，看了第一段就知道你下面要写什么。应该从更深层析 剖析，分解，你第一段的观点。比如：the achievements that academic professors have made can effect all facets of our life.有简入深。
同意楼上的观点，可以借鉴一下 GRE 考试的analysis writing。