谁提供一篇英语的短文啊要搞笑而又有意义的?急

1.A cult leader claimed that he survived on air.A doubter said,"i saw you eating French fries at McDonald's yesterday."The gurn replied,"You can't call that food"
译：有一个教派的领导人宣称，他靠空气就能存活。一个表示怀疑的人说：“我昨天还看到你在麦当劳吃薯条。”这个领导者回答：“你不能称那东西为食物！！”
2.An elementary school teacher asked a student why he was late.He replied,"A nearby sign said:Shool ahead,slow down,go slow,"so that's what i did.
译：一个小学老师问一个学生为什么迟到。他回答说：“附近有一个标志写着前方有学校，减速，慢行。”所以我就照此做了.....

这是我非常喜爱的一个小故事.每次给小朋友读这个故事,他们都喊着,”Again, again, please!” Aronld Nobe的故事言简意赅,人物刻划得很深刻.对做自己很想做的事, 我想每个人都需要 WILL POWER意志力去告诉自己不能再做了.
Cookies
Arnold Nobel

Toad bakes some cookeies.
“These cookies smell very good,” said Toad.
He ate one.
“Toad ran to Frog’s house.
“Frog, Frog,” cried Toad,
“”taste these cookies that I have made.”
Frog ate one of the cookies.
“These are the best cookies I have ever eaten!” said Frog.
Frog and Toad