雅思作文，改过的，麻烦您了。

来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/07/05 16:26:36
Some people think it is beneficial for students to go to private secondary school, but others feel that it can be negative effect on students. Discuss both views and give your opinion.(题目)

In contemporary society, it is generally believe that secondary school plays essential role in the entire career of studying to students. However, there is no consensus on whether let children to go to private secondary school or not. Some individuals contend that it is beneficial for students to go to private school while many others insist that it can be negative effect on students. As far as I am concerned, I endorse the former view.

Convincing arguments can be made that to go to private school for studying has two aspects of advantages. One is that private school has more advanced educational facilities and more exceptional faculties than public school. Because private school runs as a corporation. If it wants to appeal more students and to compete with public school, it has

it is generally BELIEVED that--动词
plays AN essential role--单复数
of studying to students--to 的用法不对
Convincing arguments can be made that GOING to private school
go to private schoolS--单复数
If it wants to appeal more students --动词用法错误，appeal改成attract

Another advantage is that to compare public school's curriculums, private school can teach students more courses to promote(改成enhance) their competence and skills for better adapting to society and better hunting（不是每个动词加了ing就可以当作名词用的，不够严谨） for jobs in the future.

可以说for adapting themselves to society and for a better career prospect.

although the qualities OF education in private school

I firmly believe that SENDING children to go to private school

关于到底是用to do还是ing做主语这个我也说不清楚，但是积累多了就知道什么时候该用哪个，你可以找一些语法书来看看。

usually speaking避免中式英语，可以说generally speaking

Therefore, parents should focus on the children's qualities education at