欲求 一篇较为有哲理的英文小片段。。。~~

Women, the big issue!

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman

如果你亲她, 那你就没有绅士风度
If you don't, you are not a man
可是如果你不亲她, 那你就不算男子汉!
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
如果你赞美她, 她会认为你只是在奉承她
If you don't, you are good for nothing
但要是你不赞美她, 那你就一无是处了!
If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp
如果你完全同她的话, 那你真无能。
If you don't, you are not understanding
要是你不同意, 那就表示你根本不了解。
If you make romance, you are an 'experienced man'
假如你把气氛控制的很浪漫, 你就一定是情场老手。
If you don't you are half a man
如果不是, 那你根本还不够成熟。
If you visit her too often, she thinks it is boring
如果你太常去找她, 她会觉得烦腻。
If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing
但是如果你不去找她, 她会责备你欺骗她的感情。
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
你要是穿的帅一点, 她会说你是花花公子。
If you don't, you are a dull boy
穿的破烂点, 那你又是笨头笨脑的家伙。
If you are jealous, she says it&